I used to be a happy asshole

Now I am just an angry one.

Happy Turkey Day!

God damn did I eat to much.

I actually wore “dress sweats” to dinner this year. What are dress sweats you ask? They are sweatpants that have a straight cut leg and pockets.

Fuck pants. Heart slowing. Sleepy.

She’s Nine / She’ll Be 10 in July?!? WTF

so I was at the bar the other night at one of my bands shows and I was talking to some people that I hadn’t seen in awhile about our kids. we got to talking about how OLD they were – which is where – no matter how you try – you WILL end up when catching up with other people who have children. we were in mid “Wow I can’t believe how old they are” heated conversation when all of the sudden, when asked how old my daughter is (the correct answer is 9), I answered “She’ll be 10 in July”.

WTF!?! i can’t believe i said that shit. why would i just not say she was 9? what imaginary line of demarcation did we cross where it was ok to tell people how old she is GOING TO BE rather than her age now. i know you all know what i mean. people do it all the time. seriously. why.

i-don’t-know-but-i-am-scared.

Why Do The Chickens Have Human Arms?

Pedophile Beard

i want to let you all in on a little thing that i am hoping you never heard of secret. he is not just a comedian, but an artist of sorts. listening to any one of his comedy songs (Sunday Afternoon, 2 Girls 1 Cup Song, High As F*ck) will make you smile from ear to ear. well done my man – well done.

he is no other than Jon Lajoie.

Chiodos – Bone Palace Ballet

Bone Palace Ballet

oh yes…. Chiodos. they used to be called “The Chiodos Brothers” a few years ago. i had the honor of playing with them in Toledo with my band – great bunch of guys.

this is their second release on Equal Vision Records – as they effectively replaced Coheed & Cambria on the label. that being said, you can expect some pretty high-pitched screams/singing ala Boston if the singer got kicked in the balls.

if you like whiney Emo/Rock with sweet hooky vocals – don’t delay.

The Future: On Sale Now For $199.99

*not my actual iPhone...

we must be the fucking Jetsons. seriously. when i was growing up, we used to imagine a world where computers fit in the palm of your hand and you would always have access to everything in your digital world right at your finger tips. ah yes….

after years and years of waiting for such a great device to fall from the heavens and into my posession, i finally decided to nod my head towards Steve Jobs and buy an iPhone. i know what your thinking…. “I thought you hated Mac’s MILLER? I thought you once posted that you would rather eat dog shit than own one MILLER”. i know kids, its hard to fathom… but after using an iMac everyday at the office – and then using my CrapBerry everynight…. there is a clear difference that you begin to notice.

that thing, dear reader – is that PC people only hate MACS because they have never used a MAC long enough to appreciate it. now don’t get my wrong – my MAC isn’t perfect – but it is just as useful as it’s PC counterpart.

but i digress…. my point of all this is simple: if you have $200 – go buy a iPhone. then make sure you have plenty of time to donate to it since you won’t be able to put it down. there is NOTHING like having your music, your pictures, your contacts, your calendar, and a gaming device all in your pocket at all times.

PS. it’s also great for pron (and yes i spelled that wrong on purpose – its leet speak)

This election…

Barack the Vote

Vote Obama…

This image is funny for oh so many reasons – none of which I feel as if I should have to explain. lol. this year is gonna be kickass though. first black president – and first time in 8 years we will have one that actually cares about the people and not their constituents.

PS> I have the BEST WIFE EVER…

iPhone…

All I can say is holy shit. It’s not without it’s shortcomings, but overall the iPhone may be the biggest personal tech innovation we see in our lifetime.

That is all.

Our Anniversary…

one word describes it… crazy. i will tell you more at a later time but for now this video will have to suffice. it has nothing to do with the topic – but for any of you from the 80’s it is so cool for so many reasons. lol.

M.W.C.D. – President & Member…

ah the wonders of child-birth. surely to go down in history as one of God’s greatest miracles/practical jokes. i am sure to some strange-minded individual that child-birth must be amazing and beautiful. after all, whats more beautiful than watching someone push a watermelon out of hole the size of a lemon. lovely.

however, i digress. i am getting off track already. hopefully your wondering what the M.W.C.D. is and how you can be as cool as me and become a member. its simple. M.W.C.D. stands for Men With Crazy Daughters. For those of you who don’t have kids this post will not apply to you for right now but read on… your only one drunken night away from having a brady bunch of your own.

i decided to create the M.W.C.D. after throwing a birthday party for my daughter (and her crazy friends) this past weekend. At this party were plenty of other people, also now going through the vigorous hazing process of joining the M.W.C.D. You see, its not because they are not smart. My daughter is about the smartest kid I know, reads well above her grade level, and gets all A’ & B’s without any help from her old man (amen). All this somehow still doesn’t prevent her from being crazy. She farts (not in public), she burbs (usually not in public), tells me I have a ‘giggly belly’, and is pretty much the biggest drama queen I know. Sound crazy? Well maybe not.

Maybe I am the one who is really crazy – cuz I love her and wouldn’t change it for anything.